craniosacral therapy

Ever done it? I went for my first session today, for help with sleep and neuropathy. It is an extremely subtle physical therapy. Can I tell you how much I want it to work? So much.

Most of the time she held my right hand, and every now and then she moved it a bit, very slowly. Just a bit. She touched my abdomen and neck, lightly, and said that the right side of my ribcage was refusing to open, that it was "behaving with the energy of an angry 5-year-old girl who is folding her arms and saying 'Oh, no, I won't.'" Really? I don't remember being an angry 5-year-old folding my arms. I do remember studying adults to see how you fold your arms. Do you grip the opposite arm, or tuck the hands in? It took practice.

But I am still open, still open. I am willing to look at the possibility that the right side of my ribcage is an angry little girl. It's possible.

The craniosacral therapist said the right side of my jaw had "an unvocalized fear, and a bit of anger." I can buy that. I told her I would work on vocalizing my fears. I'm afraid I won't be able to think of fears I haven't already vocalized at considerable length. That's my current fear, and I've just vocalized that. Now what?

At one point while was she was touching my side, she said, "I'm getting horseback riding. Do you ride horses?" Ach, I wish I could have said yes. But whenever I ride, all I do is laugh. Or sneeze. Though it's always an adventure to be atop a horse, my overriding feeling is amusement and fraud. I can tell that the horse is thinking, "Ah, jeez. Not this clown."

She lost me a bit with the vision of me on a horse, riding free and strong, legs gripping the flanks of my trusty steed. I think maybe she was catching a whiff of a memory of me riding those great mechanical horses you could ride for a minute for 25 cents. Remember? Out in front of Sears or Kresge's. Once in a blue moon, mom would spring for a ride. Yippee ki-yo-ki-yay! Man, what a rush. Seriously.

Where did all those machines go? I want one. I could stick it in my waiting room, and I'll bet you it would be help cure whatever ails my clients. They'd come to see the therapist with the mechanical horse in the waiting room. Who wouldn't? I'd disable the coin doojigger and you could ride while you wait.

But back to craniosacral work. She only worked on my right side, the side with the cancer. I find myself wondering what would have happened if I hadn't told her where the cancer was before we started. Too, I confessed early on that I tend to live in my head, that it's not always easy for me to tune in to my body when my mind is chattering. When she told me at the end that I have a blockage between my head and my body, and that my right ribcage or the right side of my jaw is acting out, it was less impressive than if I hadn't kind of handed her the map ahead of time, with cancer an X marking the spot.

Anyway, she says I need to meditate more. This is the same conclusion that Stan the acupuncturist came to. Meditate more.

I believe them, but meditation is costing me a fortune. I go back next week for another craniosacral session, after meditating daily. In the meantime, Hi ho, Silver, away.