actually....

There have been times in the life of this humble blog-ini that I've felt I should take something back. But it's out there, and to make a fuss over something makes it bigger; makes it oni instead of ini.

For example, my first posted version of the last entry ended with "like tossing a salad. A corn salad." Well, I had to get up and out of bed to go change that one. Hair is not like corn salad, however tempting it was to revisit the cornfield at that point. Hair that is like corn salad has worse problems than crop circles.

See, now I've made a fuss.

I try to be impeccable with my word, though, except for the froth of metaphors that my brain generates. (I am picturing a thought brewery, with large metal containers of thought; metaphors form as a frothy by-product of the thoughts and need to be skimmed off every now and then.) (I cannot help it. These pictures form.)

Anyway, when I've apparently been unclear, or if I leave a misconception out there, I feel a need to clear it up. I got several replies and emails, for example, from people who assured me that they haven't seen crop circles on my head. I know that. And now I feel like I was speaking metaphorically, but everyone thought the metaphor was the liquid, when it was actually just froth. I don't actually have crop circles on my head. There are no bald spots; just really thin hair. I am susceptible to hat head, let's say, whether or not I wear a hat. That's all.

So that's cleared up.

Then, too, there is the garden issue. This is less a matter of being unclear as a matter of being flat-out wrong and leading you to believe our mistake.

We were so excited to see the bounty that had sprung forth after the poisoning incident, and it looked like there would be a great variety. Though we were heavy on the large-leafed vines, we were expecting at least cucumber, at least cantaloupe, of course zucchini. I blogged about the wonder of it all.

As it turns out, they are all butternut squash plants. Sure, there are some tomatoes in there, which we are happy for, but the marvel of a volunteer tomato plant doesn't count. Tomatoes are unflagging volunteers; they're like the kid who raises her hand whenever the teacher asks anything.

But a dozen butternut squash plants? Having a dozen butternut squash plants is like owning a dozen ironing boards. It's just...silly.

Come and get one, or two, or three (butternut squash - we only have one ironing board) in a few weeks. Or maybe months. There a lots and lots of them, but they turn out to be the slowest things in the world to mature. They're like humans, for god's sake.