The first visible, single hair growing back is the wispy, blond one that has grown out of my right (facial) cheek since I was a kid. This one hair is so light and thin that I don't usually notice it until it's almost an inch long. That's an alarming length of hair, considering its location. Anyone else have one of these?
Laura spotted it while I was waxing philosophical in the kitchen last night. I thought she was listening very closely to me, absorbed by my story about yoga class. Turns out she was checking out the hair. Hair is now such a scarce commodity that I am considering letting this one grow till it's about shoulder-length.
So, yes, I've started taking yoga again, something I do now and then. I outed myself from the get-go when the instructor asked us to speak up about recent surgeries or limitations. This was a week after my treatments had ended, and I briefly mentioned the mastectomies and the chemo.
Yesterday's class was great until the instructor gave her ritual closing reading. Last night's was about how (I am quoting as exactly as I can) "our society is experiencing an epidemic of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc. because people have failed to attend to their primary hunger for spirituality and relationship." That made me feel pretty un-zen and shitty, suddenly.
There I was, hairless (well, I didn't know about the one hair at that point) and in a meditation pose, feeling exposed and blamed for having failed to attend to my hunger for spirituality and relationship. I continued to sit quietly, because saying what I felt at that moment did seem to be kind of non-spiritual and not terribly relational. I rolled up my mat along with everyone else, and left with a quiet "thank you."
But I drove off feeling hurt. I was surprised by her insensitivity as well as my own sensitivity.
Thank goodness Laura spotted the hair while I was telling my story when I got home. It totally shifted the mood when we saw that silly hair. Here comes hair! Praise be. I went to bed feeling kind of spiritual after all.
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Paula, Sorry to hear about the insensitive, inaccurate, editorial comment at the closing of yoga class. Geez! Would have turned me off BIG TIME also!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear about the hair. YEAH!
(Shhhhh-don't tell anyone- I have one also but it's black and I pluck it!)
But, I can understand why you might want to grow yours as long as Rapunzel's now!
Hurrah for "the" hair which I bet you never imagined you could be happy to see and double hurrah for Laura for spotting it and for listening. As to the Yoga, it's just sad that the instructor's ignorance is so profound and I am so sorry that you were hurt by it. Like you, I've checked in every once in awhile over the years with yoga and have come to realize that it's about making it my very own journey which changes from one time to the next and not necessarily about getting anywhere at all, kind of like life itself.
ReplyDeleteI have a long blond one that grows out of my neck. All thanks to your genes, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like a closing reading would be more about healing and wellness, you know, uplifting, positive, not an erroneous, super-simplistic and uninformed cause and effect theory...kind of preachy and judgemental. She needed to attend to spirituality and relationship, perhaps! I will bet that others in the room were also turned off by such a negative statement at the end of such a wonderful relaxing, yoga class. Perhaps there will be a moment when this will come to light in class. There is no room for fault or shame or blame. Just celebration and some weariness after such a long hard fight!I am soo happy that you are doing well and healing. Love to you.
ReplyDeleteLauralee