11/10/09 Hi, all -- Laura and I had a long meeting with the breast doc today, and we learned some stuff about the nature of the tumor. I won't bore you with the long names and all of that. But anyway, it is on the move, and I will either need a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. Problem with the lumpectomy is two-fold -- one, the tumor is underneath the nipple, so a lumpectomy would make a real mess of me cosmetically. Also, it would need to be followed by radiation -- either whole breast (side effects and complications include lung burning, broken ribs, skin burns) or partial breast (fewer studies done on the effectiveness of this relatively new treatment). Also, there would always be the chance of the cancer's return.
Chances are that we will be removing both my bee-sting-sized (though lovely) breasts, a deep loss to me (and, less so, to Laura), but something most others won't notice. Recovery time is about a month, though since my job involves sitting and listening, I got permission (should we proceed with this) to be back at work in a couple of weeks. There would be a 1% chance of recurrence going this route.
All this is premature, I suppose, since tonight is an MRI and Thursday is a CT-scan and a bone scan. If those things unearth other "tumor islands" (can't you hear the ukelele?), we will be facing chemotherapy, a prospect I confess I dread.
All of this was a great reason to spend $150 at Whole Foods after the doctor's appointment, getting lots of raw this and organic that. Plus we've invested, at Emily Siegel's urging, in a 3-horsepower blender, which can make the high octane smoothies I will be drinking to stay as strong as I can. You can put in the avocado pit (also recommended, says Em, as a smoothie ingredient) and it will grind it to pulp. Yummmm. For me it is a mindset thing -- I am not sure that the bee pollen, say, will save me, but I know I am someone who does well with a focused approach to any task I am facing.
I am determined to keep running, for example, except when I can't, to avoid most processed sugar (not that I eat a lot of that, but I do loves my occasional ice cream dollop), and to really concentrate on being a great steward of my body. Thought I was doing that, and am stunned that these funky cells snuck in anyway. It saddens me that the great herbal concoction that my naturopath had prescribed for my rotten menopausal sleep is VERBOTEN with cancer treatment. Back to square one in the sleep department.
Here comes my 4:00 client. Time to compartmentalize.
