Oh, what the heck. Severely daunted, the two hapless guys who have been sifting through our sewage for two days brought in another company with a big machine that can blast out anything with its force. They snaked back down the 200 feet and blew the pipe's nose. This took 20 hours of work and will set us back about $3,500. Even though now I'm bumming at that amount, for a couple of hours I was relieved. All the talk about possible excavation was making my head spin, with dollar signs in my eyes, cartoon-like.
And this next update is a disappointment to me. Today I finally went to buy some boobs. I had hoped to offer an interesting, maybe even swashbuckling adventure in how they fit you for prosthetic breasts. It took all of five minutes to "get fitted" and to purchase these things. It was less involved than buying an ordinary bra.
Fortunately, I came armed with a "prescription" for a pair of prostheses, signed by my surgeon. The cost without insurance? $660 for a pair of AA-sized mini-pillows that are no more elaborate than a pair of 1980s shoulder pads. I kid you not.
I'm not sure how often I'll wear these things. Yani says they sit a bit too high -- testament, probably, to where my actual AAs had begun to reside. Had gravity affected them? I thought they were too small for that. Anyway, I guess the thing about phony breasts is that you can pull them down if they're too high, or shift them to one side or the other. You can even put them in upside down.
I found myself pulling my "breasts" down several times this evening. You just kind of grab them and shift down. It occurs to me that this is not something to be done in front of others, but it also feels weird to have to be discreet about adjusting something that isn't actually part of my body.
I'm checking the prosthetic task off my list, but it turned out to be a let down. Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby.
Paula,
ReplyDeleteApparently, the Sh*t has hit the fan, or at least, your garden. I found your silver lining at this situation re: constipation to be very creative! Sadly, we had a similar situation years ago. I had been using baby wipes to remove makeup and had been flushing. Let's just "share" that one evening, they all bust through a burst pipe in the newly carpeted basement. Lovely. So.... I sheepishly empathize with the prior owners.
I am days behind in being in touch as I had been traveling and couldn't read the small print on my Blackberry screen.
So, I am AMAZED at your continued humor and energy during the Taxol pain and while feeling crappy. The word "whiny" never crossed my mind. You are very brave and helping us all understand by putting such honesty out there.
You are balancing so MUCH at once with all of these new experiences, feelings and of course, the pain. I am so proud of you.
I traveled back with a colleague tonight whose wife completed just what you are going through 18 months ago. She had experienced the gratuitous "attitude" advice ,too. She actually queried her oncologist about this, just incase since she was hearing it so often. He told her that was medically bogus.
You will love this one... apparently... she had one of those moments during her Taxol regimen when a friend told her, " gee, you LOOK great. " Her response was ," LOOK great... hmmm.... that's nice... I FEEL like crap!" makes so much sense!
I will say though, that your fashion journey has been impressive: makeup, blue wigs, feet pajamas, taxol gowns, scarf tying and now the boobs. Did you imagine yourself becoming the Paula "Wintour"?
Ok, I am signing off for fear of rambling with jet lag.
You are such an inspiration.
Ain't nothing like the real thing is true, but the 'real thing' is compassion/light, not boobs, thank goodness. What happened to Maple Tree? Was it sacrificed at the sewage altar? Or did it survive its pipe wrapping roots?
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I'm sorry to hear about the less than exciting shopping for prostheses. I relayed your experience to Becca, my daughter who is an oncology fellow and she said, "That is just sad. She needs to go somewhere good." I asked her how one finds such a place. She said, "Word of mouth...ask other chemo patients."
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